The Balance of the Revolutionary

Hello hello my friends! Mar7aba habibis! Hola mi amada gente! How are you all? Hasn't this new year been lovely so far? I have been all over California lately, from the Central Coast to lovely Los Angeles and back to the Bay Area. I'm currently preparing myself for my next adventure, which is less than a week away! I shall be heading down to Mexico for a few days, to enjoy the company of my grandmother and the humanity of lovely people. Not to mention, all the delicious food!

It is obvious that I love to travel and meet new people of all walks of life. I have old friends and young ones and everywhere in between. I enjoy fancy steak dinners that are accompanied by champagne, but I enjoy a tortilla made by hand sprinkled with some salt just as much. My life has never been dull, both in good and disturbing ways. But I have learned to admire the beauty of life because of my grandparents who raised me and never set limits on my dreams. I learned to be strong because I had no father or a stable mother. I learned to love because it was all I had growing up. I remember having to smuggle a red and green crayon out of kindergarten because I did not have any at home because I was poor. Did this make me a thief? No, it made me a happy kid and very grateful to have them and I cherished them. I knew my grandmother wanted to buy me some crayons, but getting paid $1.25 per box of picked strawberries, they were not a priority--one I sadly understood. This type of childhood is one you do not wish on your own kids, why? Because lack of basic material things. But this type of childhood is one you do wish, because of the full presence of hope, hard work, and being loved for your bare soul and personality.

My name is Jeanette. I'm a light sleeper, but a heavy dreamer.

It took me years to know myself, I did not fully understand myself until age 19 and I continue to grow and learn. I have also come to terms with a condition of mine, that I am sure many of us have. I suffer from cyclothymia. It's when depression comes and goes, it usually comes every few months for me. But when it does, it's pretty awful. Before I knew what it was, I simply thought I was crazy. I did not understand what I was experiencing. I hated myself for feeling it, because I knew I had so much to be grateful for, yet I felt so drowned in sorrow. Many people are quite surprised when they find out I can feel other feelings besides happiness and love. I guess that is why people notice how much happiness I can hold and how much I love, because I appreciate it and enjoy it so much. Then again, I could not hate sorrow for existing, for if it did not, happiness and love would not matter. This had lead me to travel and seek true humanity and kindness. When I look into the eyes of someone, I can see their humanity, their dreams, and I want to share mine with them and everyone. Traveling and learning new things from people has allowed me to forget the troubles of my brain. I can genuinely say, the people of the world give me light and wisdom. I owe them my all. Nothing is impossible to me, like I've said, who is the world to tell us what we can and cannot do?!

Now, I have been learning to balance the emotions of sorrow and happiness, by sharing a good talk with a loved one or a stranger. Or by hopping on a plane to a new place. I have learned to appreciate the duality of these feelings. Also, I have learned to cherish the duality of the Sun and Moon, of light and darkness, of youth and old age, of man and woman. As a revolutionary, seeking to help the world, I am learning to balance life. I am grateful for my life and all the experiences, they have made me fearless, ruthless, and compassionate. Why should I fear something or someone that is so much like myself? Stay sane and humble my habibis.