This Delightful Journey

Flower market, Casablanca, Morocco

My friends, hello! Oi! Hola! Mar7aba! Salut! How are you all doing in 2023 so far? I have been doing alright and I can only think about how time defies us all! I have experienced tremendous personal growth and reflection during 2022, which continues to this day; A few years ago, I wrote about my life’s sweetest misfortune and about my pursuit of the cherished glory. Today, I reflect on the person I was and ponder about the person I aspire to become. Please feel free to read at your leisure…“I was dreamin' when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray…” 

The Spring: I spent a lot of time in Los Angeles early on in 2022, and with what purpose? I don’t think I had one, except to spend time with old friends and enjoying the local attractions and restaurants. I was even able to celebrate Nowruz, Persian New Year, in Los Angeles with my friends at UCLA. It was a wonderful festival, where we celebrated the spring equinox and I wished for a beautiful life, not just for me, but for everyone on Earth (including you reading this)! As Spring bloomed, I was able to take a trip to Cabo, Mexico with some amazing friends and I even had the chance to make new ones as well. It was during this time that I also reconnected with an individual whom I had met 5 years ago, and we started to become inseparable. We took our 1st trip together in May and went to the desert oasis of Joshua Tree. It had been a dream of mine to go for some time, and I am happy I was able to share the experience with someone special.

The Summer: As Summer followed, I had a feeling that more of my life dreams would be coming true because I found myself finally visiting Morocco and the historic and beautiful cities of Casablanca and Chefchouen! I was able to admire the scenery, the culture, the food, and most notably–the people! And my life wouldn’t be my fabulous life without a splash of rock n roll. I diverted to Barcelona, Spain for a few days to see one of my favorite bands, The Red Hot Chili Peppers! 

As I write this, I am in awe of what I have been able to experience. My life started off so uncertain, born premature to a single mother and to a poor family. I couldn’t make this up, I wouldn’t want to either. Yet, since a young age, I felt and knew there had to be more from life, instead of one with sorrows and woes. Perhaps life wasn’t planning to destine me for greatness, but I have fought for it on my own, because why not try and see how it goes? As Summer went on, I had the chance to visit more friends across the country (USA) and my dream to visit Paisley Park, the Minnesota home and recording studio of Prince, finally came true. I even went to the Minnesota State Fair, in hopes to learn more about my fellow citizens and enjoyed true Midwestern corn! 

With all of the travel going on, I was fortunate to bid the Summer farewell by spending time in Southern California at The Langham in Pasadena and then in Baja California, Mexico. It sounds like a vacation, but it was also much more. My partner and I pushed our communication to new levels, and we got out of our comfort zones talking about our pasts and what we hoped for the future. We had intense conversations that were sometimes too much for my emotional self, however, my partner gave me the grace and space to walk me through this growth. I am happy that it happened because we were able to express ourselves and our love for one another. Previously, it was default for me to sweep things under the rug, including feelings and thoughts, in order to keep the peace.

The Fall: It's amazing to say that some of the most beautiful and challenging moments of my adult life happened in the Fall of 2022. I was fortunate to spend a few weeks abroad in Europe for work and leisure, where my partner and I also toured London, Paris, Barcelona, Madrid, and Lisbon! I admire the European way of life, especially the food and fashion. I didn't want to leave and although we had to, we decided that the best place to live and raise children together would be in the EU (in the future, not right away!). After our EU tour, we rested a bit before departing to Mexico, to see my Grandma Lila and other lovely stops along the way. We ended up visiting Mexico City, Oaxaca City, Hujuapan De Leon, and my grandma's pueblito (little village). We loved the traditional and colorful foods and enjoyed meeting many kind people along the way. Not to mention, the slower pace of life! 

Although I spend much of my time traveling and discovering new places, I do feel so much devotion to my country (USA) and I want to give it my all, by helping to draft and pass legislatures that will benefit American society and hopefully, the world one day. I began my paralegal studies @ UCLA in the fall, which is something I had been wanting to do for a long time now, with the main focus being contract law/ immigration law and I hope to expand into criminal justice one day as well. My passion for law began in grade school, where I learned about the 3 American branches of law, which check and balance one another, as well as learning about Abraham Lincoln and FDR–my favorite presidents! And as I grew older, that passion intensified as I witnessed the injustices occurring against my friends and loved ones (people of color/ minorities), as well as society as a whole. I knew that I had to do something to help give a voice to those who could not speak up for themselves. 

As my studies were heating up, my body was too...I didn't reveal much about my health woes as they were happening, because I didn't want to worry my friends and family. And frankly, I felt so defeated. I have decided to not hide my experience, and work towards helping raise awareness about women's healthcare and healthcare accessibility in general within the United States. After multiple clinics telling me I was okay, and dismissing my pains and concerns, I was referred to one of the most kind, delightful, and professional doctors I have ever met, Dr. Smith @ Alameda Health. We had various conversations and check-ups, where he detected abnormal pre-cancerous CIN3 cells, and the area had to be removed. I was so scared, anxious, and I felt this extreme remorse...there are vaccines that help prevent these types of cancers, however, I wasn't able get them because I didn't have quality insurance that covered the 2 vaccines needed. I was a broke college kid that defied her parents and left for university far away. I was 17 and worried about making rent and being able to afford my books; Sadly, my health wasn't my priority. I must have thought that I was invincible and that nothing like this could happen to me. Yet it can happen to any of us, and I am determined to raise awareness and to fight for you, because you deserve the best that this world has to offer, why not?! 

Prior to the procedure and post-procedure, I was grasping so many emotions, all while contemplating what I wanted my life to become. I longed for my Grandpa Lilo, hoping to muster all the strength and love he had given me during his life. After flashes of melancholy moments, I had moments of profound reflection, where I took a step back to admire how far I've come. I looked at how prosperous I am today, beyond anything I thought possible for myself growing up. I cherished all of the once-in-a-lifetime opportunities I have experienced...and above all, how fortunate I am to have many beautiful souls in my life. I've been setting up time each day to appreciate and express my gratitude to the Universe and somehow, I know I will be alright. 

The Winter: With such an eventful and emotional fall, we had the opportunity to welcome 2023 on the beautiful Big Island of Hawaii, the land of the Kānaka Maoli (native Hawaiians) and it was a much-needed rejuvenation. We spent the days out in nature, eating colorful fruit, and drinking the sweetest coffee. I even took a moment to connect with the land and give thanks to those there before me. I also gave thanks to Pele, the Volcano goddess (which I found so amusing that she shares the same name as my pooch, Pelé, who was named after the Brasilian soccer player). And although only a few weeks had passed since my biopsy, I was doing much better and regaining my optimism. 

Today: I think of life as this delightful journey, and I feel tremendous gratitude to have the opportunity to spend it with all of you and on this planet. You may have heard that life works in mysterious ways, so it’s best not to question it–just go with it! I had always thought of myself as a jet setting heart breaker, who wouldn’t settle down nor have children, only date other jet setting men; And that I would devote myself to the greater good of humanity and also to become incredibly successful in law/ business...yet even those like me can experience adoration and true love! As I move towards my goals of helping society, and my country, I feel tremendous gratitude to be able to spend life alongside my love and I cannot wait to marry my best friend later in 2023! 

As I continue to grow and experience more of what the Universe has to offer, I continue to live life with an open mind and heart; I sit with myself and truly forgive those who have hurt me in the past, and I hope those whom I have ever hurt, may forgive me (this also includes self-forgiveness). I am learning every day and am trying to become a better human being than I was yesterday. There are days when I feel like my spirit is willing, yet my flesh is weak, and I understand that it’s okay to feel those feelings and process all the emotions within and around me. I promise to give my all in this life, not just for myself but for the world! Well, my friends, perhaps we will catch up and meet at the glaciers in Patagonia, the islands of Thailand, or on the Champs-Élysées, in Paris. Until then, please stay sane and humble my habibis and never forget to follow your dreams!

“We gonna play in the sunshine…”